Reality Checks

It's been a couple of weeks since I have last updated this blog.  I guess I have been so consumed with all the changes that I have been to exhausted to sit down and type out what has been going on.

The shortened version is that I was asked to switch grade levels from 5th to 2nd grade.  I have always wanted to teach 2nd grade so this was a wonderful opportunity for me.  However, it made me leave the best teaching partner I have ever had.  She will always be my partner for life.  This move did cause some additional stress because I had to change rooms with someone who truly isn't a fan of me.  She seems to be on her own little planet where it is her way or the highway.  I won't even go into how I feel about that because I do not want to make myself angry. lol

With all the stress and disappointment this year has brought, I had let myself go down the path that I had avoided for a long time.  I had flipped my "wanna party" switch and proceeded to do just that.  Last night was a big reality check because I realized that I was doing to be self-destructive.  This was how I was dealing with all the bullshit I had been put through.  This is not a door I should be banging on to reopen.  It caused nothing but trouble the beginning of my marriage.

I also had to realize that Jon was coping with his situations in his own way as well.  Unfortunately, we were both taking each other back down the path we vowed we wouldn't go.  I really have no idea why we felt we could be invincible - - we're too old to believe that nonsense.  It's not a bad thing to realize that at all.

Jon and I had a talk last night prior to going to bed pretty much asking each other, "what the fuck are we doing?"  We agreed that we need to take better care of ourselves so that we can take care of each other.  What kind of sealed the deal is that Jon started getting a fever which he hasn't had since January.  We knew right then that everything we had started getting into the habit of doing again needed to stop.  We have worked too hard to get his health where it needs to be and we seemed to forget how vulnerable he really is.  We want to celebrate our 50th wedding anniversary which would put him at 70 years old.

After we get back from Miami, we are going to do a 6 day detox and then start our new eating and working out regime.  We are tired of letting ourselves down and bringing each other down.  I have 10 weeks until I have to be back at work.  I MUST take advantage of it!!!!