Gosh! Back and forth!

I spoke with one of the nurses today and had said that we were going to wait to do transfer.  Hearing those words come out of my mouth did not sound or feel right at all.  She said that she wasn't concerned about my period because the later it is, the better chances we have of it lining up for this transfer.  Kali, my acupuncturist, said the same thing the other day.  Maybe my body is trying to get ready for the transfer to happen now.

I am really not sure why I doubt what I am able to do.  It's fear.  It's all fear.  I am fearful that if we act now instead of wait that it may be too much for me to handle.  Thinking back though, I've had to handle far worse stress and came out ok.  I have to remember that the things that Jon and I are doing are all GOOD stress.  These items are not all things we HAVE to do or NEED to do, we are doing them because we WANT to.  We WANT to add more to our lives.  These are just 3 major life-changing wants! haha

A friend of mine got me thinking.....when will life NOT be stressful?  Would waiting really make much of a difference?  If it isn't stress about the move or finding a job, it would be stress about other things.  I need to remember everything I've gone through to get to this point.  There has been a lot of growing and changing.  I've done a lot to take care of Jon and me.  I deserve this.  I just have to take a leap of faith and hope that this choice is the right one.

I know what I need to do to help lower my stress levels and I just need to make the time to take care of myself.  A person can so easily push their needs aside to help others.  I am horrible at that.  I guess it's a blessing and a curse.

There's no going back now.......the transfer will be here before I know it.  I need all the baby dust and positive thoughts, prayers anything you would like to send my way.  I need my little fighter to wake up and be ready to come home.  :)