This past week, there have been a lot of challenges brought forward. They have felt like they have been bitch slapping me and I haven't had any opportunity to protect myself. Many of these challenges are completely out of my control.....that probably kills me more than ever.
I am really fighting the urge to become a hermit. My new happy place has changed. It seems to do that depending on how life is going. Home used to be a place I didn't want to be at so I would go out or go to the gym or do something else until I HAD to come home. Now, it's hard for me to even want to leave. It's just so comfortable and I can't ignore all the outside challenges...or at least try to.
We still have our hearts set on moving to Kansas City, but just like having a child, there are obstacles in the way. Getting Jon healthy, finding a job, fixing up the house, selling the house, paying off our debts and tying up loose ends to name a few. There are a lot of projects that need to be done. If I look at the whole picture, it makes me want to cry.
I found myself feeling defeated....almost to where I just wanted to throw in the towel. So much is going on in all parts of my life.......I still haven't figured out why we've been chosen to work so hard for things that come so easily to others. I'll probably never know.
We have 4 months to achieve a lot....I hope we can do it. *sigh*
learn to be happy in the moment of now, and things will fall into place for you in later moments. think about fixing the house up because it needs to be fixed. not just because you want to move. think healthy thoughts, and think about what can be done to achieve a healthy life. think about being healthy because the body will benefit from it. The thoughts we send out to the universe are brought back to us by the universe.
ReplyDelete