It's been a little over 5 weeks since I last updated this blog. Let's just say my mind has been busy and when I've had the chance to blog....I've done something else. haha.
Since the last post, there have been some developing things that have made my life very easy.
1. My husband and I have decided it is time to move to Kansas City. With his ability to be able to work remotely from home, he doesn't have to worry about finding another job. He just has to make sure to prove himself over the next 7 months so that they have no problem with his commuting every 6 weeks or so. I am really not worried about getting my house sold. It is in a good area. It's cheap and it's the nicest one on the block. It's a perfect starter home for either a single person or young couple. It would even work with it were a small family. We are spending the next 7 months getting everything ready to go. We've already started on cleaning and organizing the basement. When it comes to me getting work, I have already made contacts to a couple of school districts and I have friends that have contacts. I am not taking no for an answer!! We hope to move in May or June at the latest. We have said this for the last 5 years that we were going to move but there was always something holding us back. This past year, it was the IVF and the cost of it. After having a couple of months to cope with it all, I am NOT going to let "trying" hold me back from things I want anymore. Why can't I do both?
2. I have lost 20 lbs! :) Ok, so it teeters back and forth between 17-20 but still, I did it! Now I have to keep going! :) I was on the HCG diet which was awesome to where you could eat a very low calorie diet. However, it got to the point where I was eating less than the allotted calories and really started feeling bad about myself even though the weight was coming off. I knew that once I got to that point mentally, that it would be time to go back to just eating healthy. After next weekend, I will not be drinking alcohol anymore! It's become more consistent than I would like it to be.
3. We are still going to give our last embryo a shot in February! That will get through the holidays and Jon's 30th birthday. I also have a new insight to where I am not going to let worrying run my life. I am going to hand it all over to God and let him take care of it. I believe the IVF didn't work because there was so much FEAR that it would fail. I have always told my students that if you think you will fail, you will. Why couldn't I have taken my own advice? I was so wrapped up in the fact that I HAD to do it this way and I HAD to get all these shots and I HAD to have a full bladder for the transfer. I was terrified! I really feel that since we rushed into IVF and only gave ourselves about 4 weeks to try to grasp everything, I wasn't mentally ready for it. Now, I know what to expect, I know what I need to do for transfer and I'll be relaxed and calm. This last embryo made it to be able to be frozen - - they had told us that none of the other ones would make it. This is our little fighter. I do have high hopes to be 3 months along when we move to KC and I am totally ok with that!
It has also been nice to not have this whole thing be our main focus. We have other things to look forward to now and it feels good to not take NO for an answer. We are meant to be in KC. We are meant to be parents. It will all happen in time. I am very optimistic about life right now and it is a great change from how I had been feeling.
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