Of course, Jon and I didn't get the news we wanted. We are not pregnant. So many emotions happened on that day, but I was more angry than anything. It is just a lot to go through and with the amount of heartache I've lived through over the past 4 years, it was just the straw that broke the camel's back.
Jon and I have decided to take a break from fertility clinics and "trying" for a little while. We need to focus on ourselves and each other. We need to live our lives for more reasons than just trying to have a family. 4 years is such a long time to be trying especially experiencing 8 different "your test was negative" phone calls. We've been through 6 IUIs, 1 IVF and 1 frozen embryo transfer in the last 4 years. It blows my mind! No wonder there was such strain on our marriage! We were dealing with this and Jon's medical issues. But we are here and stronger than ever!
We have not given up hope by any means. It could just happen on its own now that some things have been addressed and fixed. There are many doors that are open and just waiting for us to walk through them. We are even going to look into adoption because there are plenty of children out there that need homes.
I'm feeling okay...my focus is now getting healthier and maintaining a healthy lifestyle. We are going to go on a vacation together and travel. I'm going to explore meditation and help keep my zenful outlook. All good things..........
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