Is it the need to be healthy or the need to look good naked?

Weight loss has been a battle I've had all of my life.  When I was a kid, my parents took care of helping me lose the weight....granted not everything they did was for the best.  I am not sure why it's hard for me to focus in on a diet and go for it.  I haven't been anorexic in 9 years (it just feels that I could flip that switch if I wanted)...actually Oct. 2001 was when I started to change and instead of eating a couple bites of things - I actually would eat meals.  On top of the anorexia, I would work out 30 + hours a week for Tae Kwon Do.  What stopped that was college and having a boyfriend who lived here.  I was in the best physical shape ever - who could go wrong w/ a solid 6 pack and a booty?  (I'll never get rid of this junk in my trunk..lol..it's in my genes)  I loathed myself when I looked in the mirror.  I felt so insecure, ugly yet beautiful at the same time.  I knew that I thought I looked fat but other people thought I was pretty.  I would find people to "love" me just to try to feel beautiful...however, I'd never get naked w/o a blanket wrapped around me.  Lord knows I probably shouldn't have been getting naked at that time anyway because I was so young, but it was what it was.

I guess I'm just afraid that I will resort to drastic measures to lose the 60 lbs that my doctor says I need to.  It's a demon that I've done too well w/ locking up - hence the massive weight gain out of rebellion against my past.  I tend to swing from one side to the other - one extreme to the next with whatever I do.  Finding a balance has always been hard because I've never really experienced it.  I usually work too hard and play too hard. lol

So....in today's image world, it's not about being healthy - it's about looking good naked or looking good for photos or whatever.  But I have found that they still aren't satisfied even though they are beautiful.  Is it because there is such a high demand for the perfect body that we skew what a perfect body actually is?  I find that I like the curvier girls and not just because I am one.  However, any celebrity will spend hours at the gym because they don't want any fat on them at all. 

It all gets so complicated.  I think the answer should be that it is the need to be healthy but the want to look good naked.  The only person that can take this to the extreme is one who doesn't believe that they are beautiful just the way they are.  I know for health reasons, I need to lose weight, and I know that I will gain the feeling of looking good naked. lol.  I also have to remember if I want to maintain this, I have to make sure I'm doing it healthy in the first place or all my hard work will be for nothing.