Monday, August 2, 2010

Today is the day!

I should be getting ready so I can get to the doctor around 8:30, but as you can see I am procrastinating a bit.  I didn't sleep worth a darn last night.  I didn't try to go to sleep until after midnight..once those lights went off..my brain turned on.  I don't think I fell asleep until around 1 or 1:30.  I got up about 4-5 times too just to go to the restroom (hopefully a good sign).  Then Jon got a call from work at 6 am which made it hard for me to fall back asleep.  I got out of bed at 7:30.

In all of our attempts to make a baby, I've never made it to test day without starting my period.  I've never gone in to get a pregnancy test.  So, the fact that I'll be going in today is a victory in itself.  I have mixed emotions and I am trying to focus primarily on hope.  A friend told me that no matter what feeling I feel, it's not going to change the outcome.  The outcome is out of my hands and no amount of worrying, crying or anything will change that.  She's right and I wish I would have kept it together a little more this week, but I did my best. 

After today, there is no more guessing...crazy huh?

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