I should be getting ready so I can get to the doctor around 8:30, but as you can see I am procrastinating a bit. I didn't sleep worth a darn last night. I didn't try to go to sleep until after midnight..once those lights went off..my brain turned on. I don't think I fell asleep until around 1 or 1:30. I got up about 4-5 times too just to go to the restroom (hopefully a good sign). Then Jon got a call from work at 6 am which made it hard for me to fall back asleep. I got out of bed at 7:30.
In all of our attempts to make a baby, I've never made it to test day without starting my period. I've never gone in to get a pregnancy test. So, the fact that I'll be going in today is a victory in itself. I have mixed emotions and I am trying to focus primarily on hope. A friend told me that no matter what feeling I feel, it's not going to change the outcome. The outcome is out of my hands and no amount of worrying, crying or anything will change that. She's right and I wish I would have kept it together a little more this week, but I did my best.
After today, there is no more guessing...crazy huh?
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