Getting adjusted

I think as each day passes, I am getting better.  I have to take it one day at a time though and I think that is ok. 

Over the past week, I have had more social interaction than I have had in the past 6 months.  It seems that everyone wants to hang out.  I have had many state how much they admire me for my strength and beauty. 
It's just weird.  Not sure why it's so hard to see what everyone else sees - why is my brain programed to not love what I see but then know it's there when I want it to be. 

I had become such an introvert when we were trying for our baby but I think that could have been the worst thing for me.  I am definitely a people person - socializing is a lot of fun.  I guess that's why I was on facebook so much over the summer but that's when I am usually alone quite a bit and that was the link to people I hardly saw anymore. 

I'm hoping next Monday, after speaking to our doctor, will help elevate some of my questions/fears.  I'm so tired of wondering if I will ever have a child.  I know I will - but it's just easy - especially after all we went through this summer - to just say it's not going to happen.  I don't truly believe that though.  I sometimes wish that I can look at it like - I still have plenty of time - because I really do.  I just want it now! LOL

Instant gratification has been my enemy through out my life.  Patience has had to be learned, experienced and appreciated.  When I was younger, whenever I wanted something, I put my mind to it and got it.  So, this trying and trying and trying over and over and over - it is easy to think i'm a failure. ...but I know I'm not.