I am struggling with not overanalyzing every little thing. Jon has had to help me through the last couple of nights where my mind wanders down the pessimistic path. In my heart, I want to believe that everything has all worked out. My mind is the one that keeps saying to be cautious.
We have had many occassions where our optimism was shot down by the truth. However, we have never done IVF and we know for a fact that those embryos were placed in my uterus. The only obstacle they had to do was to just hang on.
In previous IUIs, we had to wait 15 days just to find that I would start early and we never fertilized. It was so heart breaking that we had to take a year or so inbetween trying another round of 3 again. So for 6 times, we have been disappointed, but as Jon put it, we weren't meant to have that work.
I can't expect to feel the normal symptoms because my body is unique to everyone else's. I can't really go by what my friends or family say because they are not me. Many women don't experience many symptoms until they are almost to their 2nd trimester. I have made a promise to myself that I will not go researching anything anymore. It got me worried for the last couple of days when there was really no need for it. I hadn't done any research during the whole IVF process and not sure why I decided to once Monday came around.
I only have 5 more days to get through until I take my first pregnancy test. Then I get to wait that whole day until around 2 pm to get my results. However, those aren't the final results. I'll have to go back to do a couple more pregnancy tests to make sure that I am progressing like I should - there's still a possibility of having a positive then something happening. I don't feel that should be my case. I hope not.
I know I said that I would be somewhat silent once I found out - but I'm not sure anymore. I've done this so publicly any way. You deserve to hear how it goes when it happens.
No comments:
Post a Comment